Super Soaker Mayhem

In 1996 a crack team of student escaped from a maximum security branch of Woolworth's with an array of heavy firearms, these students then went underground in the corridors of Rutherford, always on the run from the porters. Eventually the temperature rose to boiling point and in the height of summer other students from rival gangs (corridors) obtained a dangerous level of soaker capability. The water wars broke out and the rest is history. Today these men, still on the run, live in Canterbury, if you have a problem and if you know where to find them then you can hire THE W2-S CRU. Of course, regardless of if you have a problem or not, we're still quite likely to shoot you with our super soakers.

What follows are statistics of the array of weapons used in the summer of 1996. Accuracy ratings are marked out of five in terms of "Timo's Ears" (see photo) with five obviously being a bit good!

After you've seen what we use, see them in action here!

Model Original Super Soaker 50
Weapons Class Light handgun
Owner/s Neil
Range 7m
Capacity Just under 1/2 a pint (1/4 litre)
Accuracy 3 1/2 Timo's ears
Failures in combat Slight leakage when over pumped
Upgrades/Repairs None
Trigger action Pretty poor, not very positive
Pros Light weight, easily concealed
Cons Doesn't cut the mustard in heavy combat
Additional features None noteworthy
Model Beretta Water pistol
Weapons Class Back-up handgun
Owner/s Dan, Timo
Range 3-4m approx.
Capacity Just under 1/4 pint
Accuracy 3 1/2 Timo's ears
Failures in combat None, but Dan's lost the plug for it, making it useless.
Upgrades/Repairs None
Trigger action A fair amount of pressure needed but a consistent feel throughout the trigger length.
Pros Doesn't leak allowing concealment in your sock or pocket
Cons Dribbles rather than soaks, no good for real men
Additional features Painted by Dan in an attempt to pass it off as a real gun
Model Uzi Water Pistol
Weapons Class Back-up handgun
Owner/s Paul, Dan, Rob, Timo
Range 3-4m approx.
Capacity 1/4 pint and a bit
Accuracy 3 Timo's ears
Failures in combat general leak faults and breaking triggers
Upgrades/Repairs None, couldn't be arsed to fix it
Trigger action OK but a bit uncomfortable, quite stiff
Pros None really
Cons Leaks like a teased vagina
Additional features See-through so you can tell easily when it's time to run away
Model Super Soaker XP55
Weapons Class Major firearm
Owner/s Paul, Dan
Range 15m
Capacity 1 1/2 pints
Accuracy 4 Timo's ears
Failures in combat Broken pump when extreme force (and drunkenness) was applied
Upgrades/Repairs Attempted repair with paper clip, but never the same again :(
Trigger action Nice feel, positive and a good weight to it, minimal kick back
Pros Soaks big time and a nice size and weight
Cons None apart from the fact that bigger guns are on the market
Additional features "Shot gun" mode available, if slightly lacking
Model Super Soaker XP75
Weapons Class Major firearm
Owner/s Timo, Chad
Range 17m
Capacity 2 1/4 pints
Accuracy 4 Timo's ears
Failures in combat Broken trigger
Upgrades/Repairs Screw used to fix the trigger and it now works fine, laser sight added
Trigger action Poor transition in the first quarter but nice positive kick back
Pros Offers that little bit more up against the XP55
Cons None but the same goes for it as above, there are bigger guns out there
Additional features Tasty "Shot gun" mode, better than that of the XP55
Model Super Soaker XP150
Weapons Class Hand held cannon
Owner/s Rob
Range something stupid!
Capacity unknown
Accuracy 4 1/2 Timo's ears
Failures in combat None
Upgrades/Repairs as if it needs any upgrades!
Trigger action A lot of kick back due to the water pressure but hey it feels good
Pros Drowns you big time due to the pressure reservoir
Cons Weighs a shed load, making it a bit cumbersome, but who cares
Additional features None
Model Addis Bucket
Weapons Class Bomb
Owner/s W2-S
Range 3m
Capacity 13 pints
Accuracy 2 Timo's ears
Failures in combat Lack of grip on delivery can cause accuracy problems
Upgrades/Repairs None
Trigger action What trigger?
Pros If it hits the target the it's all over
Cons If it misses the target then its all over the floor
Additional features The bottom of the bucket is good for pulping someone's head

You know what we use, now see them in action!