Da W2-S Merchandise

The following products are the result of many hours of stupid conversations by the W2-S Cru. All of these products are only available over the phone on the following number, but hurry as this offer is for a limited period only. When phoning have your credit card details ready to give to us. If lines are busy, try again, but do call.

24hr Order Hotline: 0898 168934 542233569 505050 95
Calls charged at a stupidly high price at all times


For years now man has been blessed with the convenience of the cotton bud. A wonderful invention for keeping sonic cavities clear of nasty wax deposits, thus aiding the hearing capabilities of the user. We are now pleased to announce that after 4 years of intensive research, the W2-S laboratories bring you Dic-Stics, to allow you to reap similar benefits in the southern region. The Dic-Stic shares many similarities with the cotton bud but is smaller in size. The Dic-Stic can be thought of as a waste flow management tool. Dic-Stics are only available on the above number and for only 2 months can be purchased at a special cut down price!!

R.R.P. : 34.99 (for a pack of 100)
Our Price : 23.58 (for a pack of 100)

*Chuff Pipe*

The second in the line of products available from W2-S is a variation of the '80's fad the Boob Tube. The Chuff Pipe is the Boob Tube of the '90's. The Chuff Pipe has similar dimensions to those of a Boob Tube only it is worn lower down around the body, it can be thought of as a skirt, or just a wide belt. It's a most attractive garment and is ideal for those fun night's out at the local night club. The only limitation of the Chuff Pipe is that it is not recommended clothing for any demanding physical activity, such as walking. Whereas the Boob Tube is often worn during the partaking of keep-fit the Chuff Pipe could result in a rather embarrassing situation. Once again for those of you with a tendency to flash a bit of leg for the boys contact the abov number, and for those of you who are sane, don't.

R.R.P. : 17.99 (available in all sizes)

*Phyzzy Jyzz*

This is a love drink available in a wide variety of flavours, containing a special ingredient which dates back to the times of ancient man. This ingredient is readily available all across the globe today but this is the first time it has ever been used in a mass market drink. This was the first product to be developed at the W2-S labs so it needed to be a success. We were quite literally banking on it. Our researches at the W2-S laboratories knew that the introduction of Phyzzy Jyzz was a daring move but after a lot of hard hands on work it's paid off. It's now the second fastest growing drink on the continent after alcohol-pop drinks. Each can of Phyzzy Jyzz has it's own unique creamy fizzy taste. It's taste is unlike any other drink currently on the market only it is uncannily familiar. To try out Phyzzy Jyzz just ask for it at your local bar, or alternatively if you wish to cash in on special prices call our number.

R.R.P. : 1.15 (for a 330ml bottle)
Our Price : 70p a bottle!!! (Minimum order of 200 bottles)


Do you ever suffer from feeling so lazy that you can't even be bothered to move to do the simplest of tasks? Are you the type of person who lays there think you can't be arsed to get up to go to the toilet? Well if this is you don't worry anymore because the Cack-o-Vac is the answer to all your prays. The Cack-o-Vac will deal with waste distribution from the comfort of your armchair or even your bed! The Cack-o-Vac kit consists of numerous tube lengths to reach to the latrine in the largest of houses. The kit also includes it's own set of adapters allowing a great fit in a wide variety of excrement deposit cavities. The Cack-o-Vac is clean and hygienic and so simple to use. With the ADD (Automatic Deposit Detection) System, suction is automatically triggered which leaves your hand free to other stuff. If you order your Cack-o-Vac today you'll receive a free diarrhoea mop up attachment so don't delay and get phoning!!

R.R.P. : 65.00 (includes free gift, for a limited period)

*Cum Drops*

These are a real little gem for all of you out there. Do you ever suffer from feeling so lazy that you can't even be bothered to move to do the simplest of tasks? Are you the type of person who lays there think you can't be arsed to get up to go to the toilet? Can't even be bothered to lift your arm? Don't despair, Cum Drops are here. If you're have problems with a partner, cuming up with the good when it matters or you've just got you hands full then a box of Cum Drops are just the ticket. These give a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Ecstasy Tablets'. Pop a Drop and feel the benefits instantly.

R.R.P. : 2.50 (per 100g packet)


Just as you're beginning to think that all of the products ever created W2-S Laboritories are of a dodgy natural we bring you Lacto-Fizz. Lacto-Fizz is the second drink produced by W2-S, and is simply Fizzy Milk. This can be purchased direct from us or recreated by you. Simply just put milk in your Soda Stream!! Lovely